end of the semester

I think I've accomplished alot this semester, but all semester I've had the feeling that I'm up against a wall. I guess that doesn't matter, I'll just keep pushing. Finals are all wrapped up, whew! They shouldn't have been so rough, but I got the flu on Monday in the middle of everything. I haven't been that sick in years. There's exciting travels to look forward to this break, so I shouldn't complain! Minnesota for a week of Volker's world - snowboarding, holiday magic, punk show, jacuzzi, hot cocoa and hearth! After that, my family is going up to DC where I can check out The National, Brandywine Museum, Pennsylvania Museum and a graduate school up there. With all of that, I'm sure that I'll be itching to paint for the rest of break. I can't wait!

It's the end of the year, which has me reflecting on events and on myself. In the process, I stumbled onto an important realization about the purpose of art. I've been trying to fit myself into the "mold" of artists expressing their emotions through their art and using it as their outlet, I even felt like something was broken because creating art has always been more intellectual than emotional for me. Thinking about the whole topic, it seems that convention is more of a stereotype than a truth. I don't think artists before the modern age even had the idea that art came from channeling personal emotion. It's not the way it works for me, and I realized that it doesn't need to be. I deal with my emotions in other ways, and make some shitty art when I try to draw or paint emotionally! I make the best art when I'm in a good mood and I can clear my mind and just go. In fact, when I've done my best has been when I'm in a very extroverted mood. It might seem like a silly thing, but working all of that out is a big relief.

Here's a few more pages of my sketchbook, some old - some new.